You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize