I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
