Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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