She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
