and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
