My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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