if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
