I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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