There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I will pee on everything he values.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
