When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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