Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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