Christians are straight up FREAKS
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
