Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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