They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I could make wine with my vomit
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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