OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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