What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
