Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
