I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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