So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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