cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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