I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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