after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
