Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
