i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
