Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
