This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
