why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
