you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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