i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
