just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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