Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
