I just made out with a guy for $7.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize