it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
