Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
