Nicole vs. Life
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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