I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
