he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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