Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
