Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
