I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
