she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
