worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
