Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
