Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
