she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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