so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I stole a fireplace last night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
