She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
