do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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