you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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