please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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