the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
