She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
