For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
