I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
