Porn is love you can see.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wish i was in the wii world.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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