I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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