That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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