On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
