Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Randomize
