I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
