New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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